~ Women brush their hair before bed.
~ Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modelling.
~ Women never have anything to wear. Don’t question the racks of
clothes in the closet; you ‘just don’t understand’.
~ Women need to cry. And they won’t do it alone unless they know you
can hear them.
~ Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an
effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
~ Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are.
That’s why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so
successful.
~ Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance
to gossip.
~ Women do not know anything about cars. ‘Oil-stick, oil doesn’t
stick?’
~ Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to
fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
~ Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when
there’s a spider or a wasp involved.
~ Women can’t keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And
they don’t view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell
two or three people.
~ Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel
like they’re actually in control.
~ Women especially love a bargain. The question of ‘need’ is
irrelevant; so don’t bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.
~ Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they
wouldn’t need toys if women had an ‘on/off’ switch.
~ Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t
looking, men kick cats.
~ Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet.
Men just get a large bowl to share.
~ The average number of items in a typical woman’s bathroom is 437. A
man would not be able to identify most of these items.
~ Women don’t understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment
that allows them to escape reality. Women seek
entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.
~ Women can’t refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she’s
doing. It might be the lottery calling.
~ If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he’ll pack five days worth of
clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven day
trip she’ll pack 21 outfits because she doesn’t know what she’ll feel
like wearing each day.
~ Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in
the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a
tropical rain forest.
~ Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man’s responsibility, ‘It’s
there in the Bible’. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?
SHOPPING MATH :
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love
him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are
a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she
does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
1st Year: Maine Kaha G Khana Kha Lijiye Aapne Kaafi Der Se Kush Nahi
Khaya Hai.
2nd Year: G Khana Tayar Hai Laga Doon.
3rd Year: Khana Ban Chuka Hai Jab Khana Ho Bata Dena.
4th Year: Khana Banakar Rakh Diya Hai, Mein Bazaar Ja Rahi Hoon, Khud
Hi Daal Ke Kha Lena.
5th Year: Mein Kehti Hon Aaj Mujse Khana Nahi Banega, Hotel Se Le Aayo.
6th Year: Jab Dekho Khana-Khana-Khana, Abi Subah Hi To Khaya Tha.
7th Year: Mein Tumhara Khana Bna-Bna Ke Tang Aa Gai Hoon, Muje Tum
akela chod Do 😡
